


the point of no return

by Octoberrose11



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: BDSM, Cock Ring, Dom Zayn, Fucking Machine, M/M, Nipple Clamps, Porn, Sub Louis, Topping from the Bottom, Vibrator, basically this is like angst and porn, but louis also has a fucking machine up his ass so i guess he's bottoming too, character death mention, idk man porn is 2 complicated for me, lots of feels are involved in this, louis tops, peace sign, which is probably why i keep writing it, zayn bottoms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-16 13:49:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9274748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Octoberrose11/pseuds/Octoberrose11
Summary: (and it's just too late to turn around)This is like an ~out take~ of my mob zouis au series and it's like angst and porn.Some nights things still get to be too much for Louis, they get to be still too real and things are brought up, things that he thought he had completely forgotten. It doesn’t matter that it’s been almost five years since the Tomlinson mob had ended, or that One Direction is on it’s second hiatus.If Louis was the type to go seek medical help for anything other then gun shot wounds, if he honestly thought a therapist would keep the confidentiality agreement when he’d admit to the things he has done, the things he has seen, the things he has taken part of.... Well. Zayn thinks they’d probably diagnose him with PTSD. And to be fair, Zayn’s probably not wrong. But he can’t go get medical help, or psychological help, so he does his best to do it alone.





	

**Author's Note:**

> ayeeeeeeee guess who's back with more zouis trash (it me)
> 
> enjoy

Some nights things still get to be too much for Louis, they get to be still too real and things are brought up, things that he thought he had completely forgotten. It doesn’t matter that it’s been almost five years since the Tomlinson mob had ended, or that One Direction is on it’s second hiatus. 

If Louis was the type to go seek medical help for anything other then gun shot wounds, if he honestly thought a therapist would keep the confidentiality agreement when he’d admit to the things he has done, the things he has seen, the things he has taken part of.... Well. Zayn thinks they’d probably diagnose him with PTSD. And to be fair, Zayn’s probably not wrong. But he can’t go get medical help, or psychological help, so he does his best to do it alone. 

Which is why on the nights he remembers things he wishes he could leave in the past, on the nights everything comes back to haunt him Louis goes numb. On these nights Louis will wake up screaming and shaking, will go to the closet and try to bury himself in the expensive clothes, whispering prayers under his breath. Outside of these moments he doesn’t consider himself religious, he’s seen to much evil in the world to really believe in a higher being who has the world’s best interest at heart, but right now he crosses himself as he kneels, wrapped up in Zayn’s 48 thousand pound coat. 

He’s done his best to try to forget the people they have lost along the way, to try and focus on the people who are still alive, to focus on the happy, but sometimes it’s not easy. Some days all he can see is their names, the sound of their voices echoing in his head. Some days all he can hear is Elisha screaming for her papa as they leave him behind in the burning building. 

On those days he goes to her bedroom and stands in her doorway, just to watch her sleep. He can spend hours there, watching the rise and fall of her chest and enjoying the sounds of her soft exhales of breath. Enjoying the way she’ll let out a snore occasionally, just like the way her mom did. He watches the night light cast shadows on her skin, the way she will smile in her sleep or her brow will furrow the way Zayn does when he’s deep in thought and he feels like he can breath again. He’ll stand there until Zayn will crawl out of bed, barefoot and bare chested, warm from sleep and hair wild, and he’ll wrap an arm around Louis’ slim body and watch her with him. Then he’ll quietly lead Louis back to bed and spoon against him, pressing kisses to Louis’ neck as he whispers promises about what they’ll do the next day, about all the amazing things that still lay ahead of them. 

Some nights, though they’re getting farther and farther between as time goes on, he needs to give up control completely. He needs to be held down and gagged, or held down and have all of his senses deprived, needs to be left a shell of the man he is. Sometimes he needs to be spanked until he cries, held in a cock cage for days- for weeks, unable to come until Zayn tells him he can, one hand in his hair, the other on his cock crooning about what a good boy he is for him, about how proud he is and can’t believe that he’s lucky enough to be the only one who gets to see Louis all marked up like he is. 

This isn’t to say that he and Zayn don’t have a kinky as hell sex life, because they do. At this point neither one is really sure they know HOW to have vanilla sex but some nights Louis needs more. 

The thing is, in the seven years that Zayn and Louis has been together, the twelve years that they’ve known each other, there are very few things that need to be said between them anymore. They talk all the time, Louis maybe more then Zayn, but there’s nothing that needs to be said, really. Their best conversations come from physical touch then anything else. 

Be it as that may, Zayn knows what Louis needs before Louis does sometimes. The same could be said the other way around, of course, but Zayn doesn’t need to be held down like Louis, doesn’t feel the urge to give up control, to go under. To float. 

But Zayn had been watching Louis for days now, knowing the anniversary of Lottie’s death was coming, had seen the way the dark circles under his eyes had kept getting darker, the bags deeper. He’d seen the way Louis had snapped at Elisha earlier in the day, and the wave of regret that had crossed Louis’ face in the after math. He had put up with it for days, waiting, calculating, knowing Louis wasn’t going to come to him on his own free will. 

They’d had dinner, the seven of them, quiet and somber, the youngest two poking each other but not being loud and as excitable as usual. Elisha not knowing why her fathers seemed so upset, but unwilling to ask, had offered to take her younger siblings (one biologically Louis, one biologically Zayn’s and two adopted), out to visit Alberto for the night. The old body guard still lived in the house behind theirs, still giving his all to keep his boy (Louis), Louis’ boy (Zayn), and their kids safe. Zayn agreed quickly, glaring Louis down when he tried to protest. 

And that was that. 

Which is how he finds himself here, arms bound to the headboard, a fucking machine shoving a vibrator up his ass, vibrating nipple clamps on and a black leather cock ring tight against his skin. He’s trying to stay quiet, to show just how unaffected he is, but can’t stop letting out small noises of pained pleasure every once and a while. 

Zayn isn’t far, he never is when they play like this, curled up in his bright red arm chair in the corner smoking. He says he’s trying to stop and when Louis isn’t as far under as he is at the moment he believes him (though he has been trying to stop for over four years now.) He’s trying to look aloof but even as he’s turned away from Louis, trying to make it seem like his attention is anywhere but on Louis, his eyes are never far away from him. In this moment he looks like the seventeen year old boy Louis first met and not the twenty nine year old he is. 

Even though they play often, they don’t play hard like this, where Louis can slip deep inside his own head, where he can give all of his trust and emotions and where he can give over all his fears and for a little while he can have peace, quiet and white light in his head. Where the only thing that exists is Zayn and pleasing Zayn and obeying Zayn and just being good for Zayn. 

“How you doing, baby?” Zayn asks softly, standing from the chair and making his way towards the bed. “You feeling good?” He reaches out and run’s a hand over Louis’ hair, tugging the strands in the back, watching the way Louis struggles against him before he goes lax, relaxing into it. 

Louis lets out a whimper, hands shaking from where they’re knuckle white fisted around the headboard. He’s trying to be a good boy, trying to make Zayn happy, but he knows that his job is about to get a whole lot harder. 

Zayn proves him right when he flips the vibrator on the fucking machine up with an evil impish grin. “You ready to have some real fun, babe?”

Louis shakes his head but, knowing what comes next is going to be anything but fun, but knows if he really needs to he can safe word out. He knows no matter what Zayn is going to take care of him.

“It’s okay baby,” Zayn tells him, “I’m going to take such good care of you.”

Zayn strips out of his clothes quickly, shirt ripping in his rush. He shrugs it off, he can go buy fifty of the same shirt tomorrow if he wants to, or he'll make Louis go buy them for him instead. Louis is so far gone he doesn't even notice when Zayn pulls the black butt plug out, a loud moan leaving Zayn's mouth.

"You gonna fuck me good, baby?" He teases, kneeling on top of Louis' hips, lining his ass up with Louis' dick, grinding down. "You gonna fuck me so good that it hurts to sit down tomorrow?"

Louis blinks his eyes open, crying out as Zayn slides down on him. For a man who usually tops Zayn loves riding dick almost as much as Louis does and it's a sight to see him going at it. And going at it he does, riding Louis hard and fast for almost an hour, leaving Louis covered in sweat and tears and unable to form words.

"I'm going to come now, baby, all over your chest." Zayn coos at him, "And then I'm going to get off of you and take that mean fucking machine out of you, yeah? Then I think your nipples and ass need more attention, don't you?"

Louis shakes his head, then nods frantic.

The hour and a half that follows has Louis on the edge and then denied, over and over and over again until he's sobbing, shoulders shaking from where they're handcuffed behind him, ass in the air as Zayn spanks him with one hand, the other holding a vibrator to the tip of Louis' dick. Louis is sure he can't catch his breath, that he's going to fall, that he's going to fail himself and Zayn but Zayn is there to catch him, to help him, to protect him. Zayn's there to be the water to his fire, the peace to his storm, the light to his darkness.

In the end Zayn doesn't let him come, slaps Louis dick when he gently removes the cock ring and sternly tells him that he's not allowed to come until the morning, and then more gently asks him if he would like a chastity cage to help, pressing a kiss to Louis' forehead when he whispers out a no, he's good.

Zayn is gentle as he rolls Louis over and wipes the lube off of Louis' ass, and the come off of his stomach, and even more gentle when he rubs aloe vera into the skin of Louis' dark red ass. Louis lets out a whine but stills when Zayn smacks him again, harder then a love tap but more gently then he had been spanking him before.

"Are you going to be okay to sleep now?" He asks, big spoon to Louis' little.

"I think so."

"Are you going to wake me up if you have a nightmare?

"Always love."

"Do you know how much I love you?

"Almost as much as I love you."

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on tumblr and twitter! Come say hi and cry about zouis with me


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